thorxndor:

I was sitting on my friends bed with her when she came out as gay

and I was looking through a Chinese food pamphlet

so I put it down, looked at her and said “I was going to suggest ordering food but I see now you’d prefer to eat out”

and I don’t think she’s ever really forgave me  

(via lisforlame)

iwishlilbwasmygrandpa:

fuuck your bedtime mom. its probably like 5 am in china right now. time is a human construction that doesnt even exisgt. if u reject time you can transcend it. please i want to play halo

(Source: swagonmydick4000000000, via fake-mermaid)

foxgrl:

where i belong

(Source: nevver, via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)

gamecuboid:

im listening

gamecuboid:

im listening

(Source: kill-whitepeople, via iforgotmytampon)

It’s 2 in the morning and I’m watching easy bake oven reviews

Amy Poehler: Mean Girls - Mrs. George (2004) vs. Parks & Recreation - Leslie Knope (2014)

(Source: mcdonald-s, via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)

icarly-official:

why do teenage girls hang out in odd numbers?

because they can’t even

(via pizza)

jetbag:

me: im going to fucking stab you

straight white boy: haha then what? ;) 

(via hotboyproblems)

(Source: michaellapena, via moistbottom)

japaneesee:

i really hate people who think that “freedom of speech” means “i can be as rude and insulting as i want and you’re not allowed to get mad”

(via pizza)

zarry:

people who always change their opinions to match with someone elses  

image

(via theunsocialbutterfly)

trillow:

[police officer] “sir are you in possession of any illegal drugs”

“sure thing son whatchu need”

(via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)

sixpenceee:

tommypickles:

mom


let me ask dr.lipschitz

sixpenceee:

tommypickles:

mom

let me ask dr.lipschitz

(Source: chemtrailqueen, via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)

slaughteroftheweeaboos:

ppl my age have children what the hell i am a children

(Source: callmeoutbro, via pizza)